There seems to be an abundance of horny women on tumblr.

Some men (and women) need to step up and do their job.

I imagine that Daniel Tosh has the perfect “privileged white man” body…

I image the writers of the Daily Show and Colbert Report are high when they do their jobs…

You come home after a long day at work, and I greet you shirtless at the door. I take your purse, ask you about your day, and lead you back to the bedroom. Once we walk through the door, I set your bag down, and move behind you. I start rubbing shoulder, my thumbs firm against shoulder blades as you tell me about “the bitch who complained that her seafood pizza stunk”. My smooth hands run down the length of your arms as follow them down and then back up. While rubbing your neck, I whisper, “I want to make you feel better…” softly into your ear. My palms turn to nails and I drag them down, across your shoulders, and down your arms. I bring my nails up along your side with your shirt in my hands. I pull your shirt over your head, and instantly my hands go to your stomach. Butterfly kisses along the back of your neck, and my hands rub your stomach, your abs, all the way up to your bra. I unclasp it and you take a deep breath. I grab your breasts and pull you to me. Your bare back resting against my chest. I let my lips touch your neck as they slowly make their way up to the back of your ear, and unbutton your jeans. You feel my thumbs enter your jeans, my nails on the outside of your thighs as I slide your tight jeans off your hips and butt; letting them hit the floor.

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I don’t reblog things because it frustrates me to no end to see the same thing over and over in my feed.